My Tri-Monthly Review

Howdy Doody!

Yes, I’m still thinking that should be a thing. I like saying it. I think it makes other’s smile, whether cringing on my behalf or thinking I’m just a goof, but it certainly provokes a positive reaction, so fuck it, howdy doody all day, every day!

Gonna have a busy week and I think I need to take a wee rain check from being so, well…

Morose?

Sombre?

Whatever word you think would be apt to describe me, bar pseudo-intellectual. Please don’t use that, it seems like the go-to insult when whoever is on the attack wants to sound smart. Also, I’m thick as a log, so we waste each other’s time with such (am I about to use this word correctly? OH SNAP I DID! WHOSE PSEUDO-INTELLECTUAL NOW!?) diatribe. I’m more than happy to share yet at the same time, I recognise it’s no good to be so consistently focusing on life’s challenges or my own demons. Or, to put it another way, it’s hard to do that and maintain a healthy perspective long-term while trying to juggle work, parenthood and a plethora of other things that tend to just rear their head on occasion.

Moving on…

This week,

Click here for this posts music linkage. Going through a bit of a synth phase since birth at the moment, somewhere around a decade last time I checked.

This week I’m thinking of doing some shorter posts, maybe 1000 words or less, but nothing too ranty. Clear the head, do some mental recycling and keep me fingertips warm. I thought the best way to start this time would be just a check in on me and how I’m faring. Practically midway through the 3rd month of the year so let’s maybe see how I’m doing…

OHDEARLORDWHYAMIDOINGTHISITSJUSTGOINGTOLEADTOMORECRYING!

Headspace

With the all-day socialising that resulted in me looking at my own social insecurities finally over, my head feels much emptier. Quieter. Dare I say,

Serene.

Played some fun boardgames but there was a wee social snafu. They had all discussed having a few drinks on the day so I showed up with rum and cider, as you do like. Bit of liquid courage always helps.

istockphoto-951592710-1024x1024
It’s not about the journey, but about the liver damage you made along the way.

Much to my chagrin, no one else had brought ales nor alcohol of any kind! It was all coffees and sodas. Literally, all I had on me was the good stuff so I drank it up, but I felt like I was suddenly the mate with a drinking problem.

Realistically, that ain’t the case. I actually drink very little. In the space of 3 months, I might touch the stuff twice Actually that’s not quite true anymore. Now that I think of it, my dosage has upped considerably, possibly to twice a week. Again, not the type to get twisted or even drink to the extent of having hang-overs but this seems like a pretty sudden twist in my state of living.

I am writing more, much more than I have in years, so maybe it’s tied to that. No doubt about it, I am happier and healthier as I try to enforce a daily routine of 1000 words, be it fiction, here or elsewhere.

But…

Maybe I’m scared too. That’s understandable I think. Surely, it has to be? This, that’s right, THIS, is the closest I’ve been to trying to do or follow something I’m actually passionate about.

Something I can honestly say I care about. 

So, with that in mind… What if it’s tripe? What if it turns out,

I’ve nothing to say.

Whoa, steady now, need to breathe… Gotta keep this one light.

giphy (12)
Ahem…

Well, that was me trying to say that I’m doing ok,

Did it work?

A: Colour Me Convinced                [  ]

B: Dude…                                           [  ]

C: Please get help,                            [  ]

D: Seriously, talk to someone!       [  ]

Work Schtuff

Tomorrow, I’ll be halfway through the Business Management course I took to try spruce up the auld CV. No real stories here, after the first two classes, no one really talks. Listen to the course instructor, take notes, looks at slides, go home. Rinse and repeat. No real challenge with this, all is going well there so hopefully, it works out having been worth the loss of evenings.

Because if it turns out it ain’t, why I’ll! I’ll!… Shrug my shoulders to no one in particular? Your damn right that’s what I’ll do!

I took the course in the hopes of getting a fairly docile sounding job as a stock broker. Pay goes up, closer to home, strictly 9-5 and weekends off. I dunno if I heard it somewhere or if it’s saying of my own creation, but I’ll repeat it here,

If you’re not living your dream, 9-5 is the Dream.

A job opening up there finally seems to be due before the end of the month and as such, I’m eager to hear back. Seems like a “job will be available” there since mid-November and though it’s been a relatively short wait, when you’re itching to escape the hellscape that is call centre (my own time is chronicled here) work, it feels like forever!

My partner’s friend works there, so that’s the hook-up. They have a modicum of power there so I’m hoping for some vague nepotism to do its job and get me in! But we’ll see. Like I said earlier, I’ve not been one to do anything I have a genuine passion or interest in, and the cost of that is having a CV that screams “30 years old with barely a life lived”.

I ask you this,

Is there a sadder way to measure a person then by gauging them on their CV?

 

Talk soon.

P.S

I dunno if I got the point across, but I’m doing better since I started this silly old place.

It feels nice to care about something.

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