Attack of the Man-Child

Howdy Doody!

I’m going to attempt to try to filter myself and maybe if we’re very lucky, leave here with 700 (spoiler: I make it to 500) words or so worth reading.

What’s new with you? How’s yer missus/mister/person? And the kids are holding up ok?

Ahh, that’s good to he- Right, you’ve had your turn to speak!

Let’s get to it.

Let’s talk about me.

It has been two weeks since I posted, and fuck do I have good reason!

The Reason

I got a new job!

Kinda… 

It’s technically part of the same company but in actuality, it’s such a shake-up (different building, cast of characters, responsibilities) that I think I can get away with pretending I got a new job. It was somewhat bittersweet, but we’ll get to that another time.

I was left dejected when I lost the gig in Interview Daze.

I felt,

Weak.

Worthless.

Defeated.

I think I took it ok, in the sense that I had an appropriate response…

Terminator
*ahem*

Ever since then, I’ve been trying to sum up the whole thing. The chase, the interviews, the failure, the feedback…

I’m sitting now on seven drafts of trying to tell it in a way that I think is funny, or at the very least, human, but a seething anger builds in me when I do.

Not like an exciting, or sexy rage mind you. God, how some people manage to maintain attractiveness OR somehow become more attractive when angry, is beyond my mortal ken.

I am very much the sort who summons a pouting, childish fury.

We’re having pizza for dinner? Without the stuffed crust? DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW ME!?

I make shitty, nonsense retorts and act like it matters.

Yeah, well, you suck farts! That’s right son, what you gonna do about it!?

Like my perceived injustice is a travesty of mythic proportions.

Can you believe they choose qualified, happy, confident people instead of ME!

And then,

It strikes

My blood boils,

That nihilistic vitriol raises my body temperature and calls forth a flare of sanity snatching Hives!

Question: Can anyone ignore that itchy sensation when mad?

Fuck no.

And then, as this pointless frenzy inhabits you,

You scratch.

Real, real

Hard.

As if you show those hives whose boss!

Like they are something that can actually bend to yer will.

With no foresight at all about the pain and discomfort future you is sure to endure…

Ho, tremble ye mighty,

for mine is the rage of the man-child.

Hear me roar.

With that said…

I’m trying to shape myself up, to restructure.

A reboot, if you will.

With that, comes changes.

Due to my new role, my hours have risen at work. I’m focusing on getting use to that before I really dive into anything else, as my anxiety would never let it down if I left a made a bad impression so soon.

However, next week, I have holidays booked, so I do plan on being somewhat more active then.

I don’t really feel I can do more than this for now, so I think its as good a spot as any to say adieu!

 

Talk Soon

 

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